It's Not Your Fault

Last night was date night and since I have been battling a pretty hardcore sinus infection Tim and I decide to watch Good Will Hunting at home. Though normally I veto watching anything rated above PG, We were both interested in seeing this movie because of one scene which we had seen in church as an illustration of the type of hurt this generation is carrying:

Will is talking with Shawn, his friend and therapist. Shawn pulls out Will's file and there are photos of the physical abuse Will endured in foster care. Will breaks into sobs as Shawn tells him, "this wasn't your fault..." over and over.

The first time I saw this scene I knew I had to see the movie. I connected with Will--- I too carry in my heart blame for things which I know intellectually were never my fault. After watching the movie Tim and I discussed: (1) how many people we know carry this same baggage, 2) how hard it is for anybody to heart to realize that evil is often outside of his control to stop, and (3) how the hurting heart resists the grace of God.

Here are my reflections:

... It's weird to me how long it takes people to realize in their hearts that we live in a world where bad things happen outside of our own control... It's as if we think that by holding on to responsibility for the hurt, by tightly grasping the pain in our fist, we can keep evil from ever hurting us again. But the truth is, as Will Hunting discovered, blame is a prison we build for ourselves, and the pain we hold tightly to is the poison that kills us. When we stop rehashing the nights we spend in the valley of the shadow, we know

Evil will shake us, strike us, smite us,

and we won't be able to predict, control, or stop its onslaught, but

To thrive in this life, we have to let go. We have to risk being hurt again...




It has personally taken me a long time to realize that what happens to us is not always a reward or punishment dealt out by a an authoritarian, heavenly Father. We are all in one way or another victims of a dangerous world. We are all victims of our own selfish desires... We are sick, broken, hurt...

But we are loved into being, and incomprehensibly Jesus still reaches out to hold us in our sickness, brokenness, and hurt. If you go with him into the places where intellectually you know "it wasn't your fault," he will hold you there until your heart is able to believe it. If you go with him into the dark places where you were the one to blame, he will hold you until your heart soaks in the greatness of His mercy and forgiveness.

Jesus has come to reveal to all humanity that God is a loving Father. James, his brother, describes the Father Jesus had revealed to him as, "the Father of heavenly lights, from whom we receive every good and perfect gift." Though it is true our Father disciplines us, he is not orchestrating the evil we experience. We live under Mercy. In this age God has not chosen to demonstrate His wrath, but His healing.

Later in the same letter James instructed Christians to,

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

James 2:12-13

Do we?